What My Holistic Counseling Practice Is All About

This short video gives a brief introduction to my work as a Certified Holistic Practitioner and my approach to working with clients.

What To Do With All These Emotions – How giving shape to your feelings helps you to process them.

A demonstrator stands during a march in central Auckland, New Zealand, Monday, June 1, 2020, to protest the death of United States’ George Floyd, a black man who died in police custody in Minneapolis on May 25. Floyd, who after a white police officer who is now charged with murder, Derek Chauvin, pressed his knee into Floyd’s neck for several minutes even after he stopped moving and pleading for air. (Dean Purcell/New Zealand Herald via AP)

The shape of your feelings…

Despair has a shape. Outrage has a shape. As do anger, fear, rage, or terror.

Our bodies are fully integrated vessels that are able to feel and process and move emotions healthily if we allow them to. The problem is when we hold back, hold in, or lash out.

When given time and the proper space, we can feel and express our feelings in a way that completely discharges the emotion and does no harm.

With emotions running so high right now, one thing we can do is allow ourselves to move our emotions in a healthy, productive, and healing way.

You can do this individually, and there is also a way to do this communally that could bring deep healing.

It begins with the ability to identify and speak your feeling. What are you feeling? Anger, rage, outrage, despair?

Say it out loud to another person. They don’t have to do anything in return other than show that they are listening. If you are alone, write it down, and say it to yourself. If it helps,  look at yourself in the mirror as you speak your feelings.

Next, give the feeling a shape. That is, let your body move in the way that will express the feeling.

Despair can look like you balled up in the fetal position rocking yourself side to side.

Outrage can look like you flinging your arms and legs, kicking, or punching as if you were shadowboxing but with all your energy invested into each motion.

The key is to listen to your body. Once you’ve spoken your feelings, listen to what your body wants to do to move the emotion.

In community, the most powerful way of doing this is in a circle. Allow a person (the doer)  to be in the center of the circle with one other person (the witness) who is listening to them and holding space for their movement. The witness can mimic the movement of the doer and in this mirroring relay the feeling of being seen and understood to the doer. All the while those sitting in the circle witness and hold the container for this emotional process.

If alone or in a group, give your body the time it needs to move in any way it needs to move to fully express your emotions. You’ll know when it’s over because your body will feel calm and the emotion will have subsided. You will feel more at peace.

Give shape to your emotions and feel them move through your body.

 In this way, you will have restored wellbeing to your mind, body, and spirit. Not just to yourself, but to your community as well.

What do Wellness Writing and Holistic Counseling have in Common?

Answer: Me!

Hi, and thanks so much for visiting my site!

I’m Tamara, a wellness writer and certified holistic practitioner.

Who is this site for, you ask?

1. Wellness Professionals, Marketing Directors, and Editors

Are you a wellness professional interested in increasing your client-load and/or building relationships with new and existing clients? Could you use the specialized perspective of a fellow wellness professional who understands the mindset of those seeking your services?

OR

Are you heading up the marketing efforts of a healthcare or wellness industry brand and have deadlines staring you down, a staff that is already spread thin, and no bandwidth to take on one more writing project?

Whether you are a wellness professional in private practice, a marketing director, or an editor of a wellness brand, I can help you in creating relevant, engaging, and convincing content that increases engagement and converts leads into sales.

If you’re looking for someone who understands the importance of well-researched SEO optimized content, meeting deadlines, speed, and accuracy all the while delivering materials in your unique voice, contact me today for a free 30-minute consultation.

I’m here for your website content, landing pages, newsletters, email marketing, blogs, and article writing needs.

Let’s talk!

2. Women Seeking the Support of a Counselor or Coach

Transform Yourself from the inside out, even if counseling and therapy failed you in the past.

  • Work through the negative thoughts and move around the drama that has you stuck
  • Calms your fears and get back on track to navigate through anxiety to a better, more joyful place
  • Get past internal conflicts and see that you are a good, worthy person who deserves a life of joy and happiness
  • Peel away layers of old habits and learn new life skills and behavior modification techniques
  • Learn to love yourself and to forgive others

My heart has broken many times, as I sat with a woman in session and listened to how she spoke of herself; the precise words she used, all revealed the layers of low self-worth and even self-loathing.

My commitment is in helping you to see yourself and the wisdom, power, and joy that you hold within you.

Living with depression and anxiety can make those things feel distant. I can help you reclaim them and start living the life you want.

3. Readers Interested in Health and Wellness

I don’t think anyone would argue with me if I said that most of us want to live well and be well. That’s a given. The question is, ‘How?’ There is so much information out there, it’s easy to be overwhelmed.

That’s why I created a space to share wellness pieces that don’t get lost in the clutter and noise.

I’m here to share all things wellness that will help you grow and thrive!

 

Thanks again for visiting my site!

If you’re interested in my services, just fill out the form below, and I’ll do my best to get back to you within 24 hours.

Come from an Unsupportive Family? How to not let that hold you back.

By Banana Oil from Shutterstock
Shutterstock by Banana Oil

When we are children, our parents are proxies, helping us develop characteristics, such as confidence, until we can take over the process and develop them ourselves. We can mirror them, and they can mirror us.

If they mirror us well, reflecting our joy, sharing in the excitement of our achievements, then we develop a strong sense of self-worth.

If they don’t, then we don’t.

There are two roads to developing a sense of self: mirroring/attunement or will.

If no one reflects back to you the characteristics that create a strong sense of self i.e., high self-esteem, confidence or belief in one’s abilities and value, then you can cultivate those things through your will.

You make the decision that you will see yourself as capable, you will see yourself as worthy, you will see yourself as loveable, you will see yourself as whole.

And you will become that.

With time. You will become all that you believe yourself to be.

It just takes a strong enough will to withstand the “slings and arrows” the world throws at you.

So, say that you have an unsupportive family and they never say anything kind or pleasant when good things happen for you. Rather, they ignore you or degrade your achievement.

You can do a couple of things here: you can identify with them, ie, mirror them and diminish your joy and excitement.

You can resentfully dismiss them and say ‘The hell with you!’ and ignore their painful lack of support.

Or you can stand in the midst of whatever they are saying or doing and inside your head think something like, ‘This thing that happened was terrific! I’m terrific! And I don’t care what you think.’

And not only do you not care—or you care so little for what they are saying, that you can’t even be bothered to resent them. You see them for what they are: unsupportive. And you accept that.

While at the same time, you lift yourself up by holding onto your excitement and your good feelings about yourself.

No matter what, you do not let their words or actions diminish you.

And in this way, you instill in yourself an unshakable sense of self-worth, confidence, and appreciation for who you are.

That’s how we can overcome the shortcomings, lack of mirroring/attunement, of those around us; those whose positive presence and regard was meant to uplift us and help us create our sense of self but who were unable to be that for us.

We each have been given will. Use it.

Use it to make yourself into the person you want to be. No matter what.

Guest Post: Managing Your Medicine- My story and a few tips

 

 

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(Note: A dear friend of mine recently went through a harrowing ordeal with her doctor prescribing too high a dosage of a new medication. The experience was such that after she recovered she wanted to share her story so that others aren’t harmed in the same way.)

Managing Your Medicine- My story and a few tips

It’s a known fact that many of us are taking some kind of medication. Whether pills or liquid or injectables, medicine has made its way into so many of our lives. Yet some of us don’t know the actual ingredients of what we’re swallowing daily. Medication management is serious, as there can be errors that have cumulative effects. All of us absolutely need to have a conversation about how we monitor what goes into our bodies, how the doctor keeps track of what we’re taking, and what personal medication management looks like for us as an individual.

Generally, it works like this: You approach the doctor with an issue and there is a discussion of whether we need some type of medication. Eventually, you agree upon the starting dose.  This is the sweet spot, the time you need to pay close attention. Why was that dosage picked? Is it on the low, medium, or high end of the scale? How long will you be taking it? What are the possible side effects? When will the side effects outnumber the benefits?

Talk with Your Doctor

I’m urging you—it’s important for you to have these conversations. My heightened interest in this topic comes from a recent personal experience with a very strong medication prescribed to me. I always try to work with my doctor to manage my medications. As usual, I asked various questions about the medicine and how it would work. My doctor gave me some answers, and I agreed to go by what she said. As time went on, I realized I’d been going about it wrong. I entrusted all the decisions to the doctor. What’s more, I gave away my own rights to evaluate and decide what to do.

Do Your own Research

I didn’t do enough research on the new medication. I wasn’t familiar enough with the dosage it came in, nor did I know the tremendous strength of the dose I was being given.

My lack of information plus the doctor’s total control of the situation made for a developing storm. After two weeks, all the side effects were in full effect. I was feeling extremely drugged: motor skills affected, blurred vision, my body moving so slowly in what felt like molasses, and my face expressionless with hardly any facial movement. I was essentially a zombie with this medication.

When Something Goes Wrong

It was a medicine mistake gone awry. I was experiencing too many strong side effects; I felt weak and hardly able to move, with no budging from the doctor to change the dosage. All of my friends instantly recognized that something was wrong and asked if I was okay. My sister was in town and witnessed my suffering from the medication. It was eventually she that called my doctor and convinced her to half the dose. That abruptly stopped the situation in its tracks and led me to a slow recovery.

Fixing Mistakes

I can only guess how many people this has happened to. The results can range from minor to life-threatening. I’d be remiss if I told you not to worry, to trust your doctor with everything. But the truth is, I’m an intelligent person who was pretty together when this happened. I had a whole group of friends who were concerned something was wrong. And I had family members on stand-by waiting to call my doctor. And it still happened!

But there are things you can do to prevent a situation like mine.

Here are some tips for selecting the medication that’s right for you and working with your prescribing doctor.

Recommendations for Your Personal Medicine Management

Research your doctor well—Is he/she conservative, medium, or liberal with prescribing medication?

Ask the doctor all the facts about the medication—What dosages does it come in? What are the side effects? Can you stop it abruptly or do you have to taper off?

Research with your doctor—Why did they select this medication for you specifically? What are the risks versus benefits?

Keep a journal—How do you feel? How are you sleeping? What side effects do you feel and how severe are they? Are there any overall changes to your physical, mental, or emotional state?

It’s a Lifelong Practice!

Medication management can save your health and help you maximize the benefits of your medication. I highly recommend building a relationship with your doctor so you are totally engaged and informed about what you are taking. It is only then that you begin to control the medicine before it controls you.

Doctors are busy and have a group of patients they need to attend to. Some of them keep digital records, others handwritten. There is no doubt they will miss something at some time or another. That’s where your responsibility comes in. Last time my doctor asked me what dosage I was taking, I thought, ‘Isn’t it her job to know?’

Get on track with your health–-it’s an important and smart thing to do.

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Nirvair Kaur is an artist, scientist, writer, certified yoga instructor, and Ayurvedic lifestyle counselor. She teaches breathing techniques and other wellness tools to adults and children. Nirvair also serves as an advocate for artists with mental illness. She is the author of Mental Medicine: A Modern-day Novel for the Lonesome Soul, available on Amazon. You can reach her at Alwaysnirvair@gmail.com.

 

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